Annie's Woodshed: He’s sees less chaos

A True Wife

"A true wife makes a man's life nobler, stronger, grander, by the omnipotence of her love 'turning all the forces of manhood upward and heavenward.' While she clings to him in holy confidence and loving dependence she brings out in him whatever is nobles and richest in his being. She inspires him with her courage and earnestness. She beautifies his life. She softens whatever is rude and harsh in his habits or his spirit. She clothes him with the gentler graces of refined and cultured manhood. While she yields to him and never disregards his lightest wish, she is really his queen, ruling his whole life and leading him onward and upward in every proper path. -JR Miller

Monday, January 24, 2011

He’s sees less chaos - She is much happier!

So this weekend had to be the best weekend we have had in a while. We did nothing really out of the ordinary. We went to the library, paid bills and made a run to the store for a few items. But we did start reading a book called His Needs / Her Needs by Willard F. Harley, Jr. (actually I read while he drove.) We laughed about some things. When we would get to a part about me needing him to talk to me, and show me attention I would read it twice. Then when I would get to a part that talked about him having different priorities he would tell me to read that part again. We would laugh. I am also reading Your Husband Your Friend by Bob Barnes; this book talks about a husband needs and how to respond to them.

I will have to say reading the books has reminded us of each others needs. Hubby needs a place to unwind and refocus, I need to be touched and held. So I reorganized and rearranged the living room trying to make it look homier instead of a dorm room (remember my house is over run by college kids.) He held me and touched me and spent the afternoon meeting my needs; he threw a maintenance session in there also. Not sure I like he new technique-he used an instrument and he normally uses his hand, but I still turned to putty in his hands.

We are connecting again, we are talking again, we are sharing again and we are looking forward to the future together again. Amazing what a little adjustment in your life will do.

Now for phase two…the rules LOL. I know you are probably saying WAIT you have things backwards. But we looked at it like this…I had to give up control and he had to take control before rules could be established. For the next few weeks he will be working my new rules and the consequences for broken rules. I am having a hard enough time with my sassy mouth, slamming cabinet doors and not taking control back…what other rules could there possibly be? LOL

7 comments:

B'ManJanuary 24, 2011 at 2:47 PM
I think the thing that pleases me most about this post is the sincere communication. You two are really making an effort to express what it is that you really need. Reading the books together has to be a great help. You sound like you're having fun with it all.
It's a blessing to see your growth.
ReplyDelete
Replies
Annie's WoodshedJanuary 24, 2011 at 3:53 PM
Yes B'Man we are having fun. I told someone it was a wonderful feeling having young love again with the maturity to enjoy it.
ReplyDelete
Replies
PKJanuary 24, 2011 at 6:24 PM
When we first began ttwd we did begin 'talking' for the first time in our marriage really (23 years). But it never really 'took'. Nick never really wanted to be in charge and we've drifted. I would love to think we can find it again. I don't know but I am very happy for you both.

Hugs,
PK
ReplyDelete
Replies
AnonymousJanuary 25, 2011 at 5:02 AM
I'm familiar with the book. The best thing about your experience is that it inspired you to talk about your own needs to each other. It's hard to recognize our needs, much less to express them to each other.

Good for you in reconnecting. May it happen to you often.
ReplyDelete
Replies
Annie's WoodshedJanuary 25, 2011 at 6:18 AM
Thanks PK up into a few months ago I was really frighten that we were headed for divorce. We had reached that point in our life where we were living different lives. The boys were grown we didn't discuss them as often as we had before. We really didn't have anything in common to talk about. We we drifting apart. I was miserable he was miserable but neither of us wanted to be the one to say let's end this thing. That fear is what started me searching. CDD has been the answer.
ReplyDelete
Replies
Annie's WoodshedJanuary 25, 2011 at 6:21 AM
Thanks Mick, it has been a hard road the past few months. But I believe we are being to see the benefits to your new life.
ReplyDelete
Replies
AnonymousJanuary 26, 2011 at 10:18 PM
I love the idea of reading books together! Leo and I have bought two copies of the same book in the past to read before bed....it gave us a lot to discuss other then your everyday stuff. Great post!
ReplyDelete
Replies

Add comment

Colossians 3:18-25

Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. Slaves, obey in everything those who are your earthly masters, not by way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord. Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ. For the wrongdoer will be paid back for the wrong he has done, and there is no partiality. Colossians 3:18-25 ESV

1Peter 3:1-7

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. 1Peter 3:1-7

Proverbs 31: 10-31

An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands. She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar. She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens. She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard. She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong. She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night. She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle. She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet. She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple. Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant. Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.” Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates. Proverbs 31: 10-31 (ESV)

Annie's Woodshed