Annie's Woodshed: Naive? Late Bloomer?

A True Wife

"A true wife makes a man's life nobler, stronger, grander, by the omnipotence of her love 'turning all the forces of manhood upward and heavenward.' While she clings to him in holy confidence and loving dependence she brings out in him whatever is nobles and richest in his being. She inspires him with her courage and earnestness. She beautifies his life. She softens whatever is rude and harsh in his habits or his spirit. She clothes him with the gentler graces of refined and cultured manhood. While she yields to him and never disregards his lightest wish, she is really his queen, ruling his whole life and leading him onward and upward in every proper path. -JR Miller

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Naive? Late Bloomer?

OR JUST PLAIN STUBBORN?

My darling husband would probably agree to the last one...just plain stubborn. I have shared with you that it was me that brought up the topic of domestic discipline and hubby wasn't too impressed. For almost six months before I started sharing stuff with him I was like a sponge soaking up as much info as I could on DD but what I didn't realize was I was still being obstinate. Oh I was playing the role just fine until yesterday. In yesterday's blog I shared how I was taking a half of day for sanity but hubby gave me a list to do. I had planned to make a quick swipe through house and "tidy" up but I really planned on spending the day reading.

Well I asked hubby if that was anything wanted done. Usually he doesn't give me "chores" but yesterday he gave me two things to do and he said he wanted them done before he got home. I knew that would be late because he was filming the basketball game last night. He gave me a 'motivational" speech which consisted of some very hard swats on a bare bottom. Those swats had me dancing around since I was not bent over but instead I was hugging him. I told him those hurt because he was hitting too high. He looked and said no that they were on my cheeks right where he normally spanked. He said one day he was going to show me just how hard he could spank, then he kissed me and left to go back to work.

Well today he is headed back to film yet another basketball game and I have another list, this one is my doing, it was some things I need to do and hubby looked it over and said good. I will be home around 3:30 and I expect these to be done. The only motivation I have today was the reminder that he could spank harder.

So here is how I came to the realization I was (am) being obstinate. All day yesterday I struggled to do his list. Thinking that he would let it slide if I didn't have it completed by the time he got home. But then I remembered those swats from early and the remark "that is not as hard as it could be" so I finished my task and I did feel better afterwards because these were two areas that had overwhelmed me and I hated to face them. Afterwards I sat down at the computer and started working on a bible study that I had been invited to join but I was joining a week after everyone else so I needed to play catch-up. I started reading the website and there again I was inundated with all the verses I had read and studied back when I was searching for answers. This time God threw another verse at me and it wasn't even the verse on the website. I was looking up Genesis 2:18 but turned to Genesis 3:16 instead..."Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire [shall be] to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee."

GGGGGRRRRRR...so many thoughts run through my head right then but the one thing that resounded loud and clear, was my choices were limited. VERY LIMITED. 1) I could be miserable which would probably lead me to be old and lonely or 2) I could be the submissive wife I was called to be and that would lead to happiness and contentment. Now I am facing a point of no return...Do I go continue on this path or do I flip a "U" turn and go back to the way things were. Because there is no way I can play this game and not be one of the other. A domestic discipline life does not allow for fence straddlers.

I don't know about hubby but there is no popping U'ies for me. I can't go back. In just two months things have changed. Oh I am not saying they are perfect but they are a heck of a lot better than they were. I haven't slammed a cabinet since the first of December and that is one for the record books. I have been snippy but there have been no yelling and shouting matches or slamming of doors. I am sure the door hinges are breathing a sigh of relief. Hubby and I are are more intimate and have become closer than we were six months ago. Go back to that miserable pile of mush I was or become the wife that pleases my husband. I think we all know the answer to that.

Now I am not saying I am embracing this (I mean I do not like pain) and will never have to be discipline this again, I am stubborn and obstinate you know but I think this house will be a more peaceful home very soon.

3 comments:

Dragon's RoseJanuary 8, 2011 at 6:18 PM
Just when I think I have it right, I mess up again. I hate that look he gives me. The one that tells me, "we will talk about this latter." You looked at your choices and you chose. That is great. Submission is something you do. It isn't something he can force. In your journey, I find hope. Thank you for sharing.
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AnonymousJanuary 9, 2011 at 6:46 AM
You've reached that point of no return. While that can be a little scary, you realize how much better off you are. It's a good place.

I wonder if anyone who has traveled the same path as you would actually turn back.
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Annie's WoodshedJanuary 9, 2011 at 9:16 AM
Missie - hubby has perfected that look too and her I thought the look was just a girl thing. We need to remember not only is submission us girls do but being the HOH doesn't always come easy for the guys either.

Mick, I don't know if anyone would ever turn back. Why would they if they were happy and content in a loving marriage why?
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Colossians 3:18-25

Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. Slaves, obey in everything those who are your earthly masters, not by way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord. Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ. For the wrongdoer will be paid back for the wrong he has done, and there is no partiality. Colossians 3:18-25 ESV

1Peter 3:1-7

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. 1Peter 3:1-7

Proverbs 31: 10-31

An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands. She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar. She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens. She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard. She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong. She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night. She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle. She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet. She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple. Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant. Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.” Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates. Proverbs 31: 10-31 (ESV)

Annie's Woodshed