Annie's Woodshed: To death do you part is a long time....

A True Wife

"A true wife makes a man's life nobler, stronger, grander, by the omnipotence of her love 'turning all the forces of manhood upward and heavenward.' While she clings to him in holy confidence and loving dependence she brings out in him whatever is nobles and richest in his being. She inspires him with her courage and earnestness. She beautifies his life. She softens whatever is rude and harsh in his habits or his spirit. She clothes him with the gentler graces of refined and cultured manhood. While she yields to him and never disregards his lightest wish, she is really his queen, ruling his whole life and leading him onward and upward in every proper path. -JR Miller

Saturday, March 26, 2011

To death do you part is a long time....

Yuppers it sure is. I don't want to say I was blinded by love, naive at 18, stupid, had not clue but when I said those words nearly 30 years ago I had no idea what I was getting myself into. To be honest I still don't (all right stop laughing you probably don't either.) Any way our marriage had been hills, valleys and some plateaus. Since starting dd we have had have had some large plateaus but we still have to hills and valleys. Right now we are in one of those valleys. I hate hubby's job the pay is crappy and it is a lot of physical labor that leaves him exhausted at the end of the day. Don't get me wrong I am thankful we both have jobs. I just don't like the fact that he is too exhausted to have quality time with me.

Yeah you guessed it I am having a pity party. Today is Saturday and he has been at work since 11:00 it is now after 3:30 and he won't be home for several more hours. It is cold and rainy so he will be grumpy when he gets home. I can see how the afternoon will play out. I am really trying to be good and not complain. I am trying to be supportive but a girl has needs and some times those needs tending to. I want a lazy afternoon curled up cuddling with him while we watch a movie. But those stupid basketball games will be on yet again. I know how March Madness got its name - it is not from the crazy husbands wrapped up in the games hooting and hollering it is from the wives going stark raving mad because she comes in second to stupid basketball.

I feel like the little girl in the Mother Goose nursey rhyme...

There was a little girl who had a little curl Right in the middle of her forehead; When she was good, she was very, very good, And when she was bad she was horrid.

Ok picture this...read hair freckles with a curl in the middle of her forehead arms crossed over the chest and she stomped her foot.

Sorry just venting because I know if I vent to him the out come would not be pretty.

Just so I don't leave you with the wrong impress, I love him dearly and if I had it to do all over again you bet your booty I would say I do in a heart beat even at 18.

7 comments:

Dragon's RoseMarch 26, 2011 at 8:51 PM
A suggestion? Turn it around. Treat him to a special meal. Make it an evening about doing what he wants and loves. Me? I like a warm bubble bath, hot tea and to be curled up in his arms. What would he want to do? When I feel like you do, I turn it around and it changes my negative feelings.
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AnonymousMarch 26, 2011 at 9:25 PM
I know what you mean. Hubby and I don't have as much time together as we used to because of his new job either. He spends so much time in traffic now. I hate it, ha hates it, but we try to deal.

OH man, I stomp my feet ALL THE TIME. Now it's a rule. No feet stomping. 5 swats per stomp.
...I still stomp my feet!
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PKMarch 26, 2011 at 9:41 PM
Annie,
That's want blogs are for - venting to each other so we won't blow up at our husbands all the time! I know all the gals blogging out here completely adore there husbands. But when the do make us mad or unknowingly hurt our feelings we need someone to talk to.

As for March Madness it has to end sometime - or that's what I keep telling myself. Hopefully the job will get better too. Nick normally gets 32 hours per week - this week it was 51 hours so I'm right there with you.

It will get better, until then, vent away!

Hugs,
PK
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Annie's WoodshedMarch 26, 2011 at 9:56 PM
Thanks PK I think after this weekend we are in the final 4 then it will be over thank goodness!!!! Its that time of the year when his job sucks. He is a landscaper for a college so he is on weed killing duty which means a 50 pound sprayer on his back for 8 hours a day. I keep telling myself this too shall pass.

Cedeno thankful we only live a few miles from work so he has about a 5-10 minute commute. His job is just physical. He can toss around 80 pounds and not blink. But by the end of the day he can barely walk he is so tired. It will get better. It will It will (maybe if I keep reminding myself LOL)

Missie, when he walks in the door and flops I head to the kitchen to get him a glass of ice tea and fix his dinner. I don't ask him to do anything here at the house this time of year. Even the boys cut the grass so he doesn't have too. He is definitely king of the castle when he works this hard. I just am not a sports fan and he really gets into the game and whoops and hollers. So I usually leave the room and play on the computer in our room.
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AnonymousMarch 27, 2011 at 8:45 AM
I know you love him dearly. That's why you feel so frustrated right now.
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AnonymousMarch 27, 2011 at 9:12 AM
I know how you feel, and my heart goes out to you! Just remember the time you guys were separated for a year. Thank God that you have each other at the end of the day! Communicate with him how important it is for you to get some attention during this stretch you are going through.
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Annie's WoodshedMarch 27, 2011 at 9:29 AM
Yes Mick, I do love him dearly. We have this silly little game we play where one us will say I love you the mostest and the other one will say not possible because I love you the mostest.

Judy, I remember and that is why he watches basketball without me whining.

Side note: He did give me his divided attention yesterday and I did get some loving I am just greedy and want more 0:-) In about 8 weeks we are running away for the weekend. We both love camping so we are going camping for the weekend. I can make it till then I think I can I think I can I think I can choochoo
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Colossians 3:18-25

Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. Slaves, obey in everything those who are your earthly masters, not by way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord. Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ. For the wrongdoer will be paid back for the wrong he has done, and there is no partiality. Colossians 3:18-25 ESV

1Peter 3:1-7

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. 1Peter 3:1-7

Proverbs 31: 10-31

An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands. She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar. She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens. She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard. She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong. She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night. She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle. She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet. She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple. Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant. Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.” Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates. Proverbs 31: 10-31 (ESV)

Annie's Woodshed