Annie's Woodshed: Consistency...Why is it so hard?

A True Wife

"A true wife makes a man's life nobler, stronger, grander, by the omnipotence of her love 'turning all the forces of manhood upward and heavenward.' While she clings to him in holy confidence and loving dependence she brings out in him whatever is nobles and richest in his being. She inspires him with her courage and earnestness. She beautifies his life. She softens whatever is rude and harsh in his habits or his spirit. She clothes him with the gentler graces of refined and cultured manhood. While she yields to him and never disregards his lightest wish, she is really his queen, ruling his whole life and leading him onward and upward in every proper path. -JR Miller

Monday, December 27, 2010

Consistency...Why is it so hard?

(Disclaimer--Remember guys this is my journal and hubby reads its)

So why is it so hard for you to be consistent? I get the looks and the threats but what I don't get is the follow through. I know our situation is different we still have college kids living at home (you know honey that one bedroom apartment is sounding better and better) but communicate with me. I know I was a real witch the other day and all you did is walk away and not even address the situation but let me play around and pop your backside and what happens?

I know this is all knew and I am asking for a lot. Thank you for being willing to embark upon this journey with me. Now if you would just get off the dang dock and into the boat well maybe then we would be on the same page.

I am at a loss, I have asked for accountability and well right now I just want to get in your face and scream GET WITH THE PROGRAM!!! But you don't work that way.

So I am have a bad case of impatiences. Postponing Christmas didn't help, having a 5 day weekend with bad weather and ending up snowbound definitely is not helping!!!!!

This letting go is harder than I thought. I love you honey and thank you for putting up with me. But I really need for you to be consistent, a hard nose if you will. Remember if it was wrong yesterday it is wrong today and will be wrong tomorrow.

******Answer to an email question********

Why do I want him to spank me...As I have said before it is not that I want the spanking. I want the peace and order that it brings. Also this way I know he has forgiven me and it is over with. Hubby tends to hold things in and I know I have hurt him by the look in his eyes and the set of his shoulders. With a spanking we will have dealt with the situation, forgiveness granted and we can lay it to rest and move on.

8 comments:

AnonymousDecember 27, 2010 at 12:05 PM
I am right there with you Annie. I remember when we first started erotic spanking. It took him a while to warm up to that too. When he finally decided it was a good thing, I can’t stop him. CDD is different. “I don’t want to hurt you.” Ok. I get that but the hurt in your eyes when I mess up hurts me more. I want to shout GET WITH THE PROGRAM. He will come around and then I will wish he hadn’t.
Missie
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AngelaDecember 27, 2010 at 12:18 PM
If you are the one who wants DD and it is something he is doing partly to please you (that was our situation), remember he is learning a new skill. It isn't going to come automatically at first. It was hard for my husband to comprehend my need for consistency in the beginning. You just reminded him nicely - a great way to do it; I used to pout. Try to be patient, encouraging, and appreciative for all the changes he HAS made. As he sees DD working, it will likely come more naturally over time. The holidays are stressful, aren't they?
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SheilaDecember 27, 2010 at 2:44 PM
I feel your frustration. J is naturally a very laid back person so taking charge is tough for him. I try hard to remember that I'm asking a lot of him, not only just the energy and time required to be an authoritative HoH but also in working against his own nature.

You read in all the parenting books that kids crave discipline and structure and will act out to get it. There are days when I feel just like that! How far can I push it...if I don't do any housework for a week, will that push him over the edge? If I start a fight with his brother, will that do it? I need to feel him strongly in control but we're not there yet.

We're thinking of implementing the DD 'Boot Camp' that's been posted on some other blogs, to get my mind in a submissive mindset and his in a dominant one. I think it could be really helpful for us both, but we'll see.
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B'ManDecember 27, 2010 at 3:14 PM
I hope he reads this. This is a good post. Stay patient. That's your best approach. Good luck.
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AnonymousDecember 27, 2010 at 3:50 PM
This is a major change you are both undertaking and it's reasonable to assume that you will grow into it at different speeds. It's good that you told him what you need. It is also good to take it as he gives it--waiting for him is part of submissiveness.
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AnonymousDecember 27, 2010 at 4:22 PM
Waiting is hard but worth it. My Dragon will figure this out in his own time. I am sure your husband will too. We have been talking a lot lately. That is always a good thing. I hope we have made some progress.
Missie
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PKDecember 27, 2010 at 8:09 PM
Annie,
I'm sorry I haven't linked you before. I'm doing it right now because every time I read here I keep thinking I may have written it! Seriously I'm getting ready to write Nick an email saying much the same thing. Good luck!

PK
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GalwaygiirlDecember 28, 2010 at 12:56 AM
I remember feeling like this Annie. Its really good that he reads this I think. Time seems to really help. Galway
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Colossians 3:18-25

Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. Slaves, obey in everything those who are your earthly masters, not by way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord. Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ. For the wrongdoer will be paid back for the wrong he has done, and there is no partiality. Colossians 3:18-25 ESV

1Peter 3:1-7

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. 1Peter 3:1-7

Proverbs 31: 10-31

An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands. She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar. She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens. She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard. She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong. She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night. She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle. She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet. She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple. Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant. Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.” Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates. Proverbs 31: 10-31 (ESV)

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