Open Mouth Insert Foot...

I did exactly that at lunch. Today is my darling husbands birthday, he says he is 15 (he claims dyslexia – I say Peter Pan Syndrome LOL.) We were eating lunch and I was being cheeky, I told him that I get to spank him tonight because it was his birthday. He told me no that I don’t get to spank him. I asked him why and he said because I hurt. Still being sassy I flippantly said well silly boy spankings are supposed to hurt and plopped a fry in my mouth and grinned. He looked at me for a minute with his oh so serious look then he grinned and said “Oh really?”

It hit me then just what I had done. I just told the man that I have given all control to that spankings are supposed to hurt. What was I thinking?

Then if that wasn’t bad enough I asked him what he wanted to do for his birthday and he said he wanted to go to Lowe’s that he had some shopping to do. Here I am thinking power tools…the man is obsessed with tools. But NOOOOOO….he wants to buy the stuff to make a loopy.

LOOPY?!?!?!?!!!! First thought through my head was “OH CRAP!” From what I have read they are quiet but the ones on the receiving end are never quiet because loopies sting.

Let me stop right there to give you a bit of an overview as to where we live. We reside in a small college town in the middle of tobacco country. It is predominantly agriculture around us. Most farmers grow tobacco, cotton or soy beans maybe even corn. The two main denominations of churches are Pentecostal Free Will Baptist and Southern Baptist. This is a college town. Well I would not even classify it as a town. It is more of a community. We have one bank and a post office. The only reason the bank and post office are here is because of the college- a small private Christian college that was part of the Southern Baptist Convention up until this year. The post office does not offer local delivery they are strictly PO Box delivery. We have an elementary school which caters to the professor’s families that live in the area and two gas stations. One of the gas stations has a little café attached to it. There are no grocery stores or car washes. The only other “attraction” is a Chinese restaurant.

Ok now back to the lunch story…So here I sit in this crowded little café, (you know the one that is attached to a gas station) in Podunk Town, USA with coworkers all around us, many of which stopped by our table to wish hubby a happy birthday. I notice that he has stopped eating and is looking at me. I try not to make eye contact because well after you have been married 29 years you know what the other person is thinking without even asking. There I sit squirming in my seat because I am already imagining the sting; hubby is sitting across from me staring at me and grinning like a Cheshire cat. I tried not to think about what he was thinking but the look spoke volumes.

And here I thought I get him something fun and sexy for his birthday……