Annie's Woodshed: Tough for a Southern Gentleman

A True Wife

"A true wife makes a man's life nobler, stronger, grander, by the omnipotence of her love 'turning all the forces of manhood upward and heavenward.' While she clings to him in holy confidence and loving dependence she brings out in him whatever is nobles and richest in his being. She inspires him with her courage and earnestness. She beautifies his life. She softens whatever is rude and harsh in his habits or his spirit. She clothes him with the gentler graces of refined and cultured manhood. While she yields to him and never disregards his lightest wish, she is really his queen, ruling his whole life and leading him onward and upward in every proper path. -JR Miller

Monday, November 22, 2010

Tough for a Southern Gentleman

So this is going to be harder for my husband than me I think. My hubby is a southern gentleman reared by true southern lady. He still opens doors for me; he still stands and gives me his seat when I enter room. He was taught never to hit a lady so this has been a challenge for him. Like I said in a my previous post we have been married since I was 18, that is 29 1/2 years and he has never raised a hand to me...NEVER. We attempted maintenance this weekend but…well one thing led to another and well I will just let your imagination work here.

However, he is understanding and realizes I need direction. Our bedroom had become the junk room that is where everything has been tossed and I just have not had the “want to” to deal with it. I guess you could same I am OCD sometimes and I was stressing over the room. The more I worked to have order the worse it became. So Saturday I tackled it again and he helped. We got a lot accomplished and he got rid of a lot of “stuff.” With three college age kids at home (and their friends) the bedroom is my sanctuary and I need order and he realizes this.

Maybe this week will be better.

3 comments:

AnonymousNovember 22, 2010 at 2:17 PM
Good luck to you and your husband. My husband is the same way and grew up with the same mentality. Once he sees what a positive influence it is, he will be on board with it.
I struggle with the same issues of direction. I'm suppose to be cleaning out my closet at this moment...but I am a very good procrastinator.:-) Check out www.flylady.net I don't know if you've heard of it, but it has been a life saver for me! Good luck!
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B'ManNovember 22, 2010 at 2:22 PM
Your southern gentleman of a husband may have a barrier or two to break through. But he sounds (and probably is) just the type of guy who will eventually become accustomed (and embrace) the lifestyle. You guys will be fine.

Oh, and welcome to the blogosphere!
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KadyNovember 22, 2010 at 3:49 PM
Annie,
Welcome! My bedroom is a catch-all room as well. Everyone dumps stuff there, and I hate it. Glad you were able to tackle it..... it does feel good later and I have a cozy corner in my bedroom that is my "sanctuary." We need that!

I understand TOTALLY about it being hard for hubby than you. JJ still has a hard time, even though he isn't from the south, TTWD is contrary to all that he is. However, since we've been at it about 6 months now, he is seeing the benefit. I think it's coming along slowly, but everyone tells me we JJ is taking to it all like a duck to water. B'Man suggested that JJ keep the pace at his own comfort level, it was wonderful advice and since he did that, his comfort level has grown. Don't rush it, you don't want to lose it so be patient and it will all work out.

Hugs,
Kady
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Colossians 3:18-25

Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. Slaves, obey in everything those who are your earthly masters, not by way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord. Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ. For the wrongdoer will be paid back for the wrong he has done, and there is no partiality. Colossians 3:18-25 ESV

1Peter 3:1-7

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. 1Peter 3:1-7

Proverbs 31: 10-31

An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands. She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar. She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens. She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard. She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong. She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night. She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle. She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet. She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple. Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant. Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.” Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates. Proverbs 31: 10-31 (ESV)

Annie's Woodshed