Annie's Woodshed: BC or our experiment in relationship building

A True Wife

"A true wife makes a man's life nobler, stronger, grander, by the omnipotence of her love 'turning all the forces of manhood upward and heavenward.' While she clings to him in holy confidence and loving dependence she brings out in him whatever is nobles and richest in his being. She inspires him with her courage and earnestness. She beautifies his life. She softens whatever is rude and harsh in his habits or his spirit. She clothes him with the gentler graces of refined and cultured manhood. While she yields to him and never disregards his lightest wish, she is really his queen, ruling his whole life and leading him onward and upward in every proper path. -JR Miller

Monday, February 14, 2011

BC or our experiment in relationship building

Annie has asked me to once again post on her blog. This is about our upcoming adventure into CDD boot camp. We have both done some reading on this and I must say that there is much to sort through on this topic. I like the idea of setting aside 3 to 4 weeks to develop new habits; to see if this is what we really want and need at this juncture of our lives. While our attempts at CDD have greatly improved our interactions, we feel that we can and should delve deeper into this way of life. And that is how I see it: a way of life. It has taken my a little longer to accept CDD because as was previously stated, I'm a very pragmatic person. I have to look at something from all angles, turn it over, study it from all sides before I jump in. Well, I have decided that CDD will well be worth the effort the two of us put into it.

As for the upcoming boot camp, I am looking to strengthen my role as HOH. By this I mean that I want to do what is best for US. I don't want Annie having to worry about anything here at home. Her job can be stressful enough. My work allows me time to think and plan. Most days I work alone so there is no one to worry about hearing anything I say to Annie over the phone or thru text msgs. I want Annie to know that she can trust me to take care of us. It is something that I've neglected over the years. It is taking both of us some time to adjust but it is well worth it. She is beginning to trust me more and I am able to speak to her in her love language. I'm still a guy so it's not always easy.

So, wish us luck through this time and I will be adding updates periodically.

4 comments:

cedenoFebruary 14, 2011 at 10:25 PM
OH best to you both. I'm very interested in how this will go. I love that you are in it together and one person isn't being left feeling un-fullfilled.

Good luck!!
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HiddenHaloFebruary 15, 2011 at 8:42 AM
this post is like a Valentine's card to your wife ... it says that she is your number 1 focus and your marriage fills the spot of first priority after God.

you two are special peeps. my hope is that this experience will allow your love to be refreshed and find a deeper level.
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Strong ManFebruary 16, 2011 at 12:41 PM
I'll be interested what you use for your guide on the details of what this Boot Camp means, and especially both of your perspective on what works and what doesn't.

Here's one example, perhaps you've seen: Beginner's Guide to Leadership and Submission

Thank you for your courage!
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AudraFebruary 16, 2011 at 3:34 PM
Good luck to you both! I'm excited to hear how you grow through this.
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Colossians 3:18-25

Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. Slaves, obey in everything those who are your earthly masters, not by way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord. Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ. For the wrongdoer will be paid back for the wrong he has done, and there is no partiality. Colossians 3:18-25 ESV

1Peter 3:1-7

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. 1Peter 3:1-7

Proverbs 31: 10-31

An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands. She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar. She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens. She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard. She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong. She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night. She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle. She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet. She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple. Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant. Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.” Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates. Proverbs 31: 10-31 (ESV)

Annie's Woodshed